Dear Leslie:

I am finally ready to meet my first on-line match in person, and I have to admit, I’m a little nervous. Is there anything I should NOT do on the first date?

Signed,
James M.

Dear James:

First date jitters are what make first dates exciting! Choosing your outfit, getting ready, making sure all the plans are made, being on time, even thinking about what to say, are all part of first date preparations. The thrill involves the entire experience – from preparation to calling your best friend in the morning to share the details. The key is to enjoy every moment.

Here are some tips on what NOT to do:

Don’t spend the whole evening talking about a bad day at the office. Be sure to mutually share the talk time. Most people say that one of the top qualities they seek in a mate is a good sense of humor. You don’t have to be a comedian, just keep the conversations light and fun!

Don’t one-up your date. Be a good listener, let them share their exciting news, and don’t feel you need to top them. If you’re considerate this way, you’ll have your chance on the second or third date!

Don’t over-share. You wouldn’t want to spend the evening talking about your ex or your last relationship. Whether the date turns into a relationship, a first date is a new beginning. You’ll have plenty of time to share intimate details – when you are both ready to move to that level.

Now, do go enjoy yourself and have a good time!

Leslie

Dear Leslie,

I’m a 34-year-old single woman and I’ve met a wonderful man online (he’s really swept me off my feet!) We chat daily but the problem is, he lives in New York and I’m in DC! We both have successful careers so moving is out of the question, but I think we’re in love, so what should I do?

Yours Rachel

Dear Rachel:

Rejoice! Feet are for getting swept off of! When you come back down to earth, it’s time to start thinking about a plan. Here are a few things right off the bat…

(1) Don’t let it go too much longer before you meet. And you should both offer to split or at least share the expense of meeting – regardless of who travels to the other’s town or who has more money.

(2) Play safe. If you go to New York , let friends know his name and numbers. Have another New York friend (if you have one) pick you up from the airport. If he comes to you, meet him first at the airport with a friend of yours in tow. It might not seem quite so romantic, but romance involves the finishing touches after a sound foundation has been established.

(3) Don’t build up your expectations. The thrill so far has been great, but if nothing comes of it, it’s always wonderful to be reminded that your heart can overflow so!

I’ve coached thousands of people in LDR’s so I know they can work. If you’ve read my book, The Long Distance Romance Guide you know the many creative ways people can stay connected…and how wonderful the end result of living together can be.

Best wishes,

Leslie